R.I.P. Dick Clark

 

Patterson Farm, Mount Ulla

Let's get it straight, I love all the seasons of the year equally.  The beginning of them that is.   When another season peers it's wonderful head on the tail of a heat wave or snow storm, I get excited.  Winter=Christmas wonderland.  Spring=Daffodils and chirpy birds outside my window. Summer=Beach.  Fall=Patterson Farm.

If you live in the Southern Piedmont region, Patterson Farm is well worth a visit, even if  it's 2 hours away.   I took the girls to the farm yesterday.  I am posting the pictures of some of the best moments.
*WARNING, LOTS OF PICTURES*

The Look on the Cow's Face is Priceless

because Remi's fake tears were followed by a full blown come apart 

Apparently, having her picture made with a cow goes against every rule in her (sworn in at birth) Diva Code of Ethics

Sandcastle

Somebody hauled in this ginormous mound of red dirt near the petting zoo at the fair.  That same somebody or somebody else created this freakin mammoth paragon:

Every Once in a While,

someone will mail me a single popcorn kernel that didn't pop. I'll get out a fresh kernel, tape it to a piece of paper and mail it back to them

Orville Redenbacher  

I love popcorn.  During my entire third trimester of pregnancy with Cassidy, I ate popcorn and Taco Bell 12 nights a week.  Popcorn is one of the VERY FEW foods Remi will eat.  She likes to stick to an all orange diet with the exception of carrots and popsicles.   Cheese (as long as its orange), Cheetos, Gold Fish, Cheez-It's, candy corn, Reese Pieces and cantaloupe are all on her approved grocery store item list.  

I've worked night shift for many years now and I've never met a third shifter that didn't love popcorn.  I have compiled a list of night shift popcorn quotes I've said or heard others say first hand:

 

I smell popcorn

Somebody's popping popcorn, I smell it coming through the air vents

There's not a popcorn button on the microwave

Set the timer for 2:30.  Open the microwave when there is a 3 second pause in between pops

Who burned the popcorn?

I smell burned popcorn

If you're hungry,  I've got some popcorn in my locker

I've got to go to the bathroom, don't you bitches dare touch my popcorn while I'm gone

Below are some more Cabraysis County fair photo's of Sydney.  Remi's not in the pictures because she was getting her beauty sleep. 

Please....

"If you haven't signed in, you should be making your way over to one of the rosters located on each side of the entrance for court room 2.  People,  if your name is not on that list, you were never here."  Okay, I've decided I want to get a part time job (doing what the phuck ever) in traffic court. 

I got a gee dee ticket on Concord Mills Blvd back in the summer by an over aggressive rookie cop.  "Ma'am, why didn't you pull over when you initially saw my blue lights?"

I didn't exactly run from the police, I just politely turned on my hazard lights and took the scenic route in search of the perfect place to have my ass chewed.  Actually, the real reason was that I wanted to avoid causing a major traffic jam during the unholy tax free weekend. 

"You can either pay this fine online or at the courthouse.  You can also show up for your court date on Sept. 16 and probably get the charges dismissed." 

WTMFSAH?

Typically, I would just pay the damn ticket but, I wanted see what traffic court looked like in person and of course, avoid paying the 197.00 fine. 

"Alright listen up, we have 1300 people on the docket for today."  I went into shock and nearly died on the spot. 

They packed us all like sardines into a tiny court room.  I was actually rubbing elbows with the person standing next to me who was breathing 64 times per minute (because he had to climb one tiny flight of stairs).  Without warning,  he shuffled and his underarm stench sent my olfactory nerve into fight or flight mode.  Five words....Old Spice and decomposed onions. 

Okay, are you sitting down Internet?  Some how or another, I ended up fifth on the list.  I was out of there in less than 35 minutes.  Oh by the way, the charge was dismissed.